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Differentiation: Finding your own voice

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Our parents are our first and greatest teachers. They are our first introduction to the world and all of our experiences. As children, we are blank slates and have no experiences with which to compare and evaluate anything. It is natural to model ourselves after our first teachers.

But what if your beliefs as an adult differ from that of your family? This can generate turmoil both within the self and in the family dynamic.

Differentiation relates to ones susceptibility to group pressure and influence. The less susceptible to the pressure of others, the higher an individual’s differentiation level.
As adults, we grow, explore and develop our own beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Sometimes this journey of self-discovery can be difficult, thinking or being different than that which we grew up with, or even believed most of our lives.
And this doesn’t just relate to the family dynamic, but our immediate culture and environment. It could be political, cultural expectations, or religious communities with which you realize just don’t fit any longer.
How does one differentiate, essentially discovering and holding onto your own core beliefs and values?
Here are a few tips:
Explore and question the actions of others and the world around you. Develop an inner dialogue: Does this serve me? Does this make me happy or stress me out? Is this appropriate? Reflect on your feelings and initial responses.
Encourage yourself, developing self-esteem for holding your own. Center and ground yourself whenever you make a choice contrary and possibly disappointing to someone in your life.
Find others to support you. This could be friends, family members, a coach, teammate or a therapist.
Develop and articulate your values and boundaries. If you’re clear about what is important to you, you’ll be able to call upon and reinforce it when pressured.
Notice when you feel uncomfortable or resentful. Discomfort or resentment can be a sign that trying to fit in with someone’s agenda, neglecting your own values.
Remember, everyone is on a path of development and growth until our very last day on earth. We are all doing the best that we can at this time, even you.
Especially because Mother’s Day is nearly here, lets take time to reflect on and appreciate all that our mothers have done for us; and also appreciate our family, how they influenced and helped us grow into becoming ourselves, differentiated in our own individual potential.

Handle Uncertainty and Master your Fear

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One Sunday morning, I was at the Ballard Farmers market when I spotted a man who looked familiar. “My”, I thought to myself, “He looks like Patch Adams.”

For those of you who haven’t heard of Patch Adams MD, he was a doctor at a children’s hospital with an unorthodox, humorously silly approach to treatment, on which a movie was based featuring Robin Williams.

Shortly after noticing him, he came over and introduced himself to my friends and I.

“Hi, I’m Patch Adams.” he said, ”Have you heard of me?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed, “I knew it was you!” Happy that I was correct in my recognition.
He smiled.
Then, I asked, “May I take a photo with you?
Of course!” he smiled even bigger,
”But only if you stick your finger up your nose.”

“No, thank you.” I said, and turned to walk away.

“Wait a minute!”, he asked, “What do you think will happen whenever you look at a photo of us with our fingers in our noses?”

I thought a moment.
“I’ll laugh.”

“Exactly,” he said.

Then it suddenly occurred to me all the times I’ve said No, and turned down opportunities because I was concerned about what other people thought, afraid of disapproval.

This was a moment of enlightenment.

I’m sure you’ve a similar story of hesitation and doubt, though probably much more stressful. In retrospect, because I really wasn’t attached to the outcome, as there were no real ramifications, it afforded me the moment to reflect on my own inner dynamics.
(I did take the picture with Patch Adams, MD with our fingers in our noses in-case you’re wondering 😉

Uncertainty, fear, and doubt are painful emotions that we all endure. These are the things keep us up, enduring another sleepless night worrying…

Fear deconstructs you.

Fear negatively impacts your view on life, your confidence levels, and even your potential. Fear of failure stifles creativity, destroys promising ideas, and stops us from realizing our dreams.

When you’re afraid and uncertain, your motivation diminishes.
Yes, my friends,
fear actually is the root of procrastination.

So, how can I manage and overcome my reluctance and fear?

  1. Acknowledge And Appreciate Your Emotions, Knowing They Support You.
  2. Recognize that you are feeling fear. This will help you get to the source.
  3. Determine the under laying cause. This requires self-reflection, which may be difficult while engulfed in the experience. It may require time alone afterwards in a safe place, to fully assess the situation.
  4. Check in with the conversation you’re having with yourself. What are your thoughts and words your saying to yourself? Are you deconstructing yourself? Are you repeating something negative someone once said to you? You may not be able to articulate into words the sensations you’re experiencing, so be patient.
  5. What is the message of the uncertainty and fear:
    – What else could this mean?
    – What can I learn from this?
    – What is my belief causing me to feel this way?
    Am I really: afraid of failing, being ridiculed, facing change, etc.?
    It’s important that you recognize your fear and attempt to define what it is that makes you frightened.Asking these questions will help change your perception of the situations that intimidate you, your perception of yourself, and improve how you’re handling things.
  6. Probably the best method that works and will improve your confidence over time and over all is to purposely face your fears by doing activities that push you outside of your comfort zone. Now is the time to take that public speaking course. Or maybe next time, take the path over the footbridge with the long drop below. Often times you’ll find all those lions you thought were in your pathway were just kittens. Just try.

Remember, YOU are the source of all your emotions; you are the one who creates them. Be patient with yourself while following these steps as you awakened to your own inner dialogue, perceptions, and work on the changes to release your fears to live life more abundantly and joyfully!

Download your FREE Crystal Healing Chart!

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Because we are in the season of Crystal & Mineral shows, I've received a number of questions regarding which crystals to purchase and different uses for them.
I’ve created this free Crystal Healing Chart that will help you purchase and use crystals in relation to the Chakra system!

Fill out the form and receive your download!

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Can Electromagnetic Fields Affect Your Intuition?

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We live in a sea of energy

Wherever there is an electric current flowing, there will be a magnetic field as a result. The higher the electrical current, the higher the magnetic field will be. Anything that has an electric current has this electromagnetic field.

Natural sources of electromagnetic fields

Electromagnetic fields are present and a natural occurrence in our environment, most recognized in the forms of thunderstorms and the earth’s magnetic field. Although these energy fields are invisible, this may explain why you may feel excited or energized during a thunderstorm, or feel different sensations during high sunspot activity (releases ions into the earths’ atmosphere creating aurora borealis).

Human-made sources of electromagnetic fields

The electromagnetic fields truly of the most concern are those from manmade sources. I’m sure you’ve heard that electromagnetic fields (EMF) aren’t good for your health and well-being, (remember mom telling you not to sit so close to the TV?) but how does this work?

Any electronic device has an electromagnetic field. The average household electrical device, from microwaves, computers, cell phones, TV, etc. average 100khz-300khz.


spectrum-emfSchuman Field (Earth energy field) ranges – 1Hz to 30Hz
Often the Earth frequency (Schuman field) is stated as 7.82Hz. This is calculated based on the earths circumference, but due to variables such as ions from sunspots and other interstellar interference, the earths magnetic field fluctuates.

Human brain in Alpha wave state:
relaxed, eyes closed but alert – 8Hz to 13Hz

Human brain in Beta wave state:
awake, mental concentration – 14Hz to 30Hz
Nerve pulses are electrical energy. The chemical processes in nerve cells throughout the body, brain and heart cause the human energy field. 1khz=1000hz

You can see that our own energy field is close to that of the earth.
Man-made electronic devices have a far higher EMF, which in turn do have an effect on us.

Fields of different frequencies interact with the body in different ways. This is of concern because our exposure is greatly increasing due to greater demand of electricity and electric devices.


Some symptoms of long-term EMF exposure include:

  • Insomnia
  • Dizziness
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Mild nausea
  • Paranoia
  • Headaches
  • Sweating
  • Shakiness
  • Joint pain
  • Dark circles under the eyes
  • Weakness,
  • Chronic illness
  • Memory issuesThe effects of EMFs vary as much as individuals vary.

Electromagnetic fields & public health: Intermediate Frequencies (IF). Information sheet February 2005. World Health Organization.

Retrieved Aug 2013.


Electromagnetic Fields, your Intuition and Pineal Gland
Recent studies have shown that EMFs affect your pineal gland, which is part of your endocrine system and located in the brain.

What does that mean?

Your pineal gland is the chemical/biological catalyst and connection between you, the universe and Divine. It is your pineal glad that supports your intuition and psy abilities. EMFs are perceived as light by the pineal gland, thus interrupting melatonin and serotonin levels, causing insomnia & depression, and they disrupt the neuro-modulators and subtle magnetic fields perceived by the pineal gland that support your intuition.

  • “Malka N. Halgamuge of the University of Melbourne in Australia further examined the effect of man-made EMF on the pineal gland. Halgamuge states in his research that the pineal gland likely recognizes EMF as light, which consequently would result in reduced melatonin production. “…the results show the significance of disruption of melatonin due to exposure to weak EMFs, which may possibly lead to long-term health effects in humans.” – Malka N. Halgamuge (Oxford Journals)”

Electromagnetic fields can effect your intuition and psy abilities in a negative way!

Tips to protect yourself from EMFs and even boost intuition:


  • Ground yourself. Go out into nature, walk in the woods, away from buildings and high power lines…and leave your cell phone behind.
  • Immerse yourself in water. Soaking in a tub, pond or even better – the ocean. Salt water draws energy away faster than fresh water.
  • Use Breathing and meditation techniques to calm your nervous system.
  • Listen to music that you enjoy, that help balance your current state.
  • When your nervous system is over stimulated, use up the energy; go to the gym, run bicycle, and exercise.
  • When using your cell phone, wear the corded headset to talk. A Bluetooth earpiece isn’t recommended as it has the same EMF as holding the cell to your ear.
  • If you’re having trouble sleeping, placing tinfoil under your mattress will help shield you from EMFs.
  • Take regular breaks from using your computer and cell phone.
  • Unplug any electronic devices around your house that aren’t being used. Even when plugged in, they draw a small current of electricity.
  • Keep a healthy diet and strong immune system.

Choosing Crystals for Healing

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So you’re at a big crystal & mineral show, or the Sunday market, or at a specialty crystal shop and you want to buy a crystal… but which is the right one?

The best place to start is by identifying what is it you’d like to have remedied and the affiliated Chakra. The Chakras (Sanskrit, “wheel”) are seven major energy centers of the body starting at the root and ending at the head following the centerline of the body. Chakras are part of the subtle body where life force energy flows through the body’s channels. Each Chakra governs different physical organs, emotional and mental states.

When the concept of Chakras and the energetic system based on them was brought over to the West, the colors associated with them were simplified to the most dominant color.


The simplest way to choose a crystal is based on the color of the chakra related to the issue you would like to address.
1st Chakra – The ROOT

Primary color is red, also black
Crystals like Garnet or Onyx, Red Jasper

2nd Chakra – The Sacral
Primary color is orange
Crystals like Carnelian, orange calcite

3rd Chakra – The Solar Plexus
Primary color is yellow
Crystals like Citrine, Tiger eye, Yellow topaz

4th Chakra – The Heart
Primary color is green, also pink
Crystals like Rose Quartz or Jade or Aventurine

5th Chakra – The Throat
Primary color blue.
Crystals like Turquoise or Sodalite

6th Chakra – The Third eye (or brow)
Primary color is dark blue or various shades of dark blue.
Gemstones like Lapis Lazuli or Amethyst

7th Chakra – The Crown
Primary color is purple; also colorless (clear) or white.
Gemstones like Amethyst or Clear Quartz

Once you have chosen a crystal, hold it in your hands and see how it feels. The way crystals cause effect and positive change in you body is through resonance. A crystal that feels good is resonating in a harmonious way with your own energy field and subtly causing balance.

There are many, many crystals that cause a variety of effects and can be used in many ways. Take your time to get to know them and their many uses.

More on Crystals and Minerals for healing:
The Nature of Crystals and how they are able to do what they do!

The Subtle Energy of Crystals and Minerals



Subtle Energy of Crystals & Minerals

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We know it’s the unique crystalline structure of a stone that causes it to give off a particular frequency. Certain crystals and minerals vibrate in a way that resonate with and strengthen particular energies inside a person. This is why they are applied to help heal, cause shifts in attitude, shifts in thinking, and enhance the ability to attract desired elements into one’s life.
When working with stones and crystals you are working with your subtle energies.



These energies reveal themselves and shift in quieter ways than other physical types of energies. Thus for example, if you carry a crystal or stone as an amulet or in your pocket, you’ll notice its effects over time, rather than immediate.



So, when choosing crystals or stones to use or work with, it’s imperative to take your time and sense how they resonate with your own subtle energies. If having a bit of difficulty determining if a particular stone is good to use at this time, self -applied kinesiology or using a pendulum will help.

Individual stones give off a type of energy vibration very specific to that particular stone. Quartz crystals are unique in that they operate in a much broader way that amplifies all the subtle energy frequencies with which they come into contact. Simply put, a quartz crystal will amplify and intensify the energy you put into it by resonating with it and making it stronger. If you are feeling positive and loving, it will help amplify that sensation. Coupling quartz crystals with other stones and crystals will also amplify their effect.


big-mixbag2By using crystals and stones, you can concentrate your growth by working with one stone and one element about yourself, or several items at a time by using several stones.




I recommend patience, as working with these energies will bring to the surface what is happening inside you, and show what you need to work on in order to be a better, happier person.

Remember, it is you who must do the work. When something comes to the surface of your consciousness, you must address it.

More on Crystals and Minerals for healing:
The Nature of Crystals and how they are able to do what they do!

Choosing Crystals for Healing

The Nature of Crystals & Minerals

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This weekend I attended a Crystal and Mineral Show. While perusing tables of glittering semi-precious stones and polished geodes, I watched a woman pick up a polished amethyst, hold it in her hands, close her eyes and smile. I smiled too because I’m familiar with that experience…

What is it about certain stones and crystals that make us feel a certain way?

In other words: What are these mysterious properties that they have other then sparkling beauty and varied color?
Crystals and minerals have been used by many cultures throughout time for medicinal and other purposes. The ancient Egyptians and Native Americans would bury their dead with quartz crystals. In ancient Greece, hematite was used as protection for soldiers in battle and bloodstone to staunch bleeding. Aryuvedic medicine in India considers crystals valuable for healing emotional and metaphysical imbalances, as documented in the Hindu Vedas.

As it turns out, because of the physical composition of a stone, it will naturally hold different frequencies of energy.

How does this happen?



About 90% of the elements in the Periodic Table conduct electricity. Everything on earth is made up of elements in the Periodic Table, elements being made of only one type of atom. That means most things on earth, crystals and minerals included, can conduct some amount of electricity and often maintain it, however meager.

Crystals and minerals simply have an inherent energy frequency due to their particular composition.

Because most things can conduct energy on some level, it helps explain why you can “feel someone” in an object or item they’ve held close for a long time. Or perhaps you can “feel an event” like an argument in a room, long after it happened. The energy frequencies of the individuals involved magnetized the article or location much the way a magnet will magnetize iron if it is near it for a period of time.

One can’t help but think of the mystery and beauty of the mechanics of life; and we ourselves are indeed the body electric. This is also why it’s important to regularly check-in with oneself and how your energy is feeling… and perhaps purchase a crystal that “feels” good to hold.

More on Crystals and Minerals for healing:
The Subtle Energy of Crystals and Minerals
Choosing Crystals for Healing

Mindfulness, Empathy, and Emotional Intelligence

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I’m sure you’ve heard of Mindfulness. But, what is it? There are many things one can ascertain from the word itself, but what it’s really described as is: Focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging one’s feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations. Mindfulness recently is being employed as a therapeutic technique.

It is simply stopping, taking stock of your feelings and physical sensations in relation to the situation you’re currently facing.

Seems logical to be aware of your feelings, but actually, it isn’t always that easy; especially when your feelings are confusing or painful.

What can one do to better be aware of themselves and emotions? Your thoughts, actions and emotions are tied closely together. Thoughts create emotions, which create actions. Having this awareness will dramatically affect your life in very positive ways.

Empathy is built through an understanding of oneself and processes. This necessitates deliberate self-reflection and self-work. The more you understand your own thoughts, feelings and emotions the more you can understand the perspective, thoughts and emotions of others.
I’m referring a bit more towards cognitive empathy in this regard, yet emotional empathy definitely plays a role. Emotional empathy makes someone well attuned to another person’s inner emotional world, to the point that they themselves are also experiencing another’s emotions as thought it were their own. Self-work is also essential so that one can differentiate ones emotional state from another.

The awareness of one’s emotions, and the understanding of them culminate into something known as Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence an individual’s abilities to recognize and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.

This also includes: being conscientious and controlling your actions (not acting rashly); taking personal responsibility for your own behavior. Also, being adaptable to different situations, good communication skills and empathy- to understand yourself and another person’s emotional reaction.

Mindfulness: Being aware of one’s emotions in the present moment

Empathy: The ability to understand one’s emotions

Emotional Intelligence: Ability to recognize and manage ones emotions

Ultimately, we’re striving for a high level of emotional maturity through these practices, to be able to peaceably and appropriately manage situations and feelings as they arise and live happier, more productive lives.


Intuition: That Still Small Voice

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“The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you and you don’t know why or how.”

― Albert Einstein

Dear Friends,
Oh, still small voice, whispering from the heart; inspiring sudden knowledge and bodily responses… What is it that inspires you?

Our intuition is our internal GPS. It is always on and talking to us all throughout the day and participates in all of our experiences. It is our constant guide and companion, yet not always easy to hear. We’ve all experienced a sudden knowing or inspiration, but often even when we do, we either just ignore it or don’t trust it and listen to our mind instead.

It is especially difficult when the issue at hand is very emotional. Sometimes then, we default to the mind and thoughts. The mind, however doubting, is much louder, insistent, and very logical.

So how do I know I’m even using my intuition?

Here are a few examples of ways you’ve been using your intuition:

You have a feeling you should avoid the highway and instead take the longer and thus less logical route to get home, only to find out the highway was blocked due to a major accident.

Maybe you are out at Starbucks and see someone across the room that smiles at you. You immediately know you like this person and will become friends, and you do.

You feel drawn to stop by the grocery store for some sundry items, only to run into an old friend you haven’t seen for a long time, yet you’ve been thinking about in the last few days.

Listening to your intuition is an incredibly valuable skill to have!

Here are a few tips to inspire your intuition and allow its guidance into your everyday life:

  1. Keep a journal: This allows you to free your mind to take on other tasks as well as provide a place to keep track of your intuitions and accuracy. This will help evoke confidence in your inner voice.
  2. Turn off your inner judge: Once the critic stops, you’ll be surprised how much information your intuition provides for you, simply because you’re allowing it.
  3. Time for quiet contemplation: Silence allows one to decompress from our over stimulating, noised based world. Allow room to explore your inner self, thoughts and feelings.

Honoring Your Empathic Nature

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I would venture to guess, that many of you hesitate at the prospect of going where there are large crowds. Maybe this is because events like parties, concerts, or even a short trip to the mall leaves you feeling weary and disoriented? Or perhaps you have that friend, (you know which one) whom leaves you exhausted with just a phone conversation?

I feel your pain… literally.

These are symptoms of being empathic. Empathy is your ability to feel, in your body, another’s experience. The experience may be physical, emotional, energetic, painful, or joyful. You may or may not receive any external reason why you’re feeling this, but you feel it anyway.
Being empathic is an asset, but it unusually makes you vulnerable to the emotions of others; taking them on much the same way that you’d catch a cold. Being this sensitive can result in anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and physical pain syndromes more often than those who are less empathic.

Empathic Checklist:

  • When you are around certain people or in crowds, do you feel drained?
  • Have you ever had an instant liking or disliking to someone?
  • Have you ever sensed how someone was feeling in spite of how they were acting or claiming?
  • Do you have trouble with boundaries? Sometimes it’s difficult to know which experiences are yours and which come from others; or when it’s appropriate to open yourself for connection or to close up.
  • Do you often need time alone to recharge and balance yourself?

Even when we’re aware of them, these patterns are hard to change. But, the most important step is being aware of these sensations; then you can sort out what they are, and how to manage them. To be a healthy empath requires daily practice.

Check back for follow-up articles. I plan on expanding greatly on the topic of Empathic Abilities.

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