I have this one friend, and every time she calls, I feel this mild sense of dread wash over me. This dread is mild as the pollen that floats softly, shimmering in the gentle spring sunlight, swiftly launching into full blow allergy agony.
I answer the phone and my energy falters and wanes as she launches into her newest drama, complaints, and woe. “You’re so lucky you don’t have to deal with all the troubles I do…” She says. And I stop her there. “I have to go. I’m just headed out the door. We’ll talk later.” I say and hang up. Here, I gather myself up, ground, and breath for a bit until I return to myself.
How can someone so far away make me feel so exhausted? What is she, some sort of vampire?
She is a sort of vampire.
She’s a psychic or energy vampire.
Does this sound familiar? Feeling exhausted, irritable, antsy, or uncomfortable around someone for no immediate logical reason?
These are all signs your energy and well-being are being compromised.
There are a few types of energy vampires that present themselves in recognizable ways.
These are a few of those types:
Complainer / Poor me: These folks always have one drama or problem after another. This person believes the worlds is against them and are always crying “crocodile tears”. But, they always assure you that after talking to you, they always feel better!
What to do: Center and ground yourself. Set firm boundaries and limits. Setting limits may mean only listening for a short time then insisting they talk about solutions or simply excusing yourself from the conversation altogether.
Interrogator / Over talker: This person must know everything about what you are doing, cross examines you, may even look for something to judge you about. This person may also corner you at work or at a party and talk endlessly. They are only really interested in themselves and it’s exhausting.
What to do: These folks don’t really follow nonverbal signs indicating your discomfort. Engage, listen for a little while, and then politely excuse yourself.
Intimidator / Criticizer: This person makes you feel bad for not doing things “right”. Every time they come around they’re trying to find things wrong with you or what you’re doing. They often have negative comments that just cut you down. Sometimes they use manipulation and fear to control. You will almost always have a deep sense of dread and feel unsafe when they come around.
What to do: Try a visualization of a protective shield. Eliminate these people whenever possible.
Fixer-upper / Helpless: This person has soo much potential, and you can see that it’s obvious. But the fact is, they will never reach that potential. For whatever lack of motivation or some other reason, they never achieve much of anything. From financial trouble, inability to keep a job, complete projects, follow through on promises, they are helpless and unable. But, you can help them, can’t you? You always have the solution, so they come to you for help!
What to do: Don’t be a rescuer! Show concern but not solutions. Be supportive and try directing them to other sources where they may find the answers themselves.
Being able to recognize when your energy is being affected and sapped is paramount to your health and overall well-being. It is a direct indicator that something is amiss in the situation. It’s important to be aware of these things and address them appropriately. Staying in a negative relationship, friendship, or work situation often results in an undesirable impact on your physical, mental and emotional health.
Remember, my friends, always check in with your body to see how you feel about a person or situation! Your body will always signal the truth.
Be sure to check out Recognizing a Parasidic Draw or Energy Vampire : Part 1