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Listening to your Inner Voice

Listening to your Inner Voice published on No Comments on Listening to your Inner Voice

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The other day I attended an unusually hot Bikram yoga class. Somewhere in the middle I needed to lie down, as my heart felt like it would burst. While lying there, staring up at the ceiling, I suddenly had a voice inside me speaking words told to me long ago by my High School art teacher:

“An artist always knows when a painting is complete”

 

After hearing this, I felt something, like a deep knowing, then it shifted to a physical sensation that washed inside me and I realized what this meant. These words don’t necessarily apply to just creating art, but to life. It’s important to recognize when something is over it’s just over. If you keep putting time and energy into it, it’s wasted effort or you may ruin it, just like an overworked painting.

This is a powerful intuition indicating completion.

This is also a lesson on intuition, how it speaks to you, and interpreting it.

So how does your intuition speak to you?

Sometimes, it can be a small voice inside you; it can be flashes of visual images, a feeling in your stomach or even knowingness in your heart. The one consistency is a lack of visceral emotions when the intuition hits. It’s just a message delivered… then after the message is delivered, the emotional response happens.

 

It works like this because the way you process information:
1) Message
2) Mind receives message and thinks about it
3) Emotions follow thoughts

Sometimes you receive the message and process it so fast, you go right to the emotions. (i.e.: As soon as I walked in, I instantly felt sick and tired.)


The easiest way to tell the difference if a message is a thought, or an intuition is your emotional response.

Thought – if you had very intense emotions at the same time as the message
Thought – very negative feelings and obsessing over message
Intuition – when the message came you didn’t have any emotions
(Maybe exception of compassion)
Intuition – after receiving the message, even if bad news, you felt a sense of relief or as thought you already knew the answer already.


Where does this message, this information come from?

 

Sometimes that inner voice is you, these are your thoughts which are influenced by your past experiences. Other times it is your Higher Self, also known as intuition, which is actually your Soul; your Soul is directly plugged into God the Divine and touches the entire Universe.

This is how every question you have is always answered. And it is ALWAYS answered and usually as soon as you ask! But, why you don’t think you have an answer is because the answer you received isn’t want you want to hear, so you dismiss it and claim you don’t know what to do.

Perhaps the biggest step in working with intuition is trusting it. When you know that you’ve receive the truth and it feels like the correct course of action in every aspect, it’s important to trust it and follow through.

And if it means something is over, which is often difficult to accept, take comfort knowing that now there is room for something new to begin…

 

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Dealing with an Envious Friend

Dealing with an Envious Friend published on No Comments on Dealing with an Envious Friend

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Have you ever gotten that long awaited promotion or new job, shared it with a friend whose response was: “Oh, that’s nice.” Or worse yet says, ”What was wrong with you that you couldn’t get it sooner?”

Or maybe you’ve returned fresh, filled with tranquility and joy from a spiritual retreat, excited to tell a good friend all about your personal discoveries, and they immediately dismiss it or generalize your experience.

And then it seems we all have that one friend that always seems to be competing with you to be bigger or better.

 

This is Envy.

 

It’s normal to feel a little envious of others every now and then, but it’s different when it’s consuming, and deliberately hurtful.

 

Morrissey even wrote a song about it
which sums things up pretty well:

morrissey_single
We hate it when our friends become successful

And if they’re northern, that makes it even worse
And if we can destroy them

You bet your life we will destroy them
If we can hurt them
Well, we may as well, it’s really laughable
Ha, ha, ha
You see, it should’ve been me
© Morrissey – We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful

 

I’d like to quickly point out that Envy and jealousy are often confused.

Envy is when you want what someone else has, but jealousy is when you’re worried someone’s trying to take what you have. Jealousy is most often seen in insecure relationships.

 

The root of envy is a mentality of poverty or lack.

This mentality is driven by comparison and the belief that they will never achieve a desired status, income or aren’t any good at something or at least not as good as the one being compared to. This stirs up powerful feelings of desire or covetousness for the lifestyle, possessions or what-have-you of another.

The emotion of envy can be triggered in circumstances that
involve a social comparison where someone perceives that you have possessions, attributes, or attainments that diminish their own status (Silver & Sabina, 1978; Smith & Kim, 2007).

Envious people will never say it directly, but the distain they have towards you will come out verbally and sometimes subtly as criticism or disrespect for you.

 

Envy is a sign of weakness.

The greater the envy experienced, the more weak and inadequate the envious one believes they are compared to the other person. This insecurity causes a higher tendency to be defensive or verbally lash out.

A powerful emotion like envy can even influence ethical decision-making, promoting the justification of deceptive behavior.

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Recognizing envy in others:

 

  1. Withdraw: They aren’t available and don’t behave like the person they were before learning of your achievements.
    This person may not answer your phone calls, emails, or texts. You find they give you the silent treatment and just be overly unavailable. Truly, they wish good things were not happening to you and can’t bear to hear about your happiness.

 

  1. Invalidate you: This includes subtle and not so subtle belittling, generalizing and/or devaluing your achievements and experiences. This often includes comparison to others.

 

  1. Rudeness toward you for no reason when things are just starting to go well for you. This can display as dismissiveness, a lack of responsiveness, to outright belittling on hearing of your good news.

 

  1. They are never happy for you.

 


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How to handle an envious friend

There are several methods to deal with these situations and personalities, but firstly, I recommending taking a step back and evaluating the overall relationship and determining if this ill behavior is a long-term pattern, or a one time issue.

 

  1. ) Do NOT take things personally! Usually when someone is negative, it has to do with them and their issues and nothing to do with you.
  2. ) Be proud of yourself and your achievements. You worked hard to get where you are – own it! Do not downplay your own success and hard work because of another’s feelings of inadequacy.

  3. ) Try talking to your friend about it. If their behavior doesn’t improve, or if you believe it to be a pattern, bring it up gently and try to work it out. But remember, it is they, not you who must do the work.

  4. ) Give it space or if needed, let them go. Usually, time and space apart is enough to minimize another’s ill feelings toward you. If they continue to react to you in hurtful and negative ways despite efforts to remedy the situation, it’s in your best interest to let them go.

  5. ) You cannot and never will please everyone. Just do your best to be a loving, honest and compassionate person.

“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.”
John Lydgate

 

We all might feel envious at times, but those who really understand that the source of their suffering is actually within themselves, will try to fix their problems, because truly, the feeling of envy is painful.

 

You are not competing against anyone in this life but you. You only ever need to focus on your own path and goals, continually improving yourself and well-being.

 

 

 

 

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