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Different Types of Energy Vampires : Part 2

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I have this one friend, and every time she calls, I feel this mild sense of dread wash over me. This dread is mild as the pollen that floats softly, shimmering in the gentle spring sunlight, swiftly launching into full blow allergy agony.  
 
I answer the phone and my energy falters and wanes as she launches into her newest drama, complaints, and woe. “You’re so lucky you don’t have to deal with all the troubles I do…” She says. And I stop her there. “I have to go. I’m just headed out the door. We’ll talk later.” I say and hang up. Here, I gather myself up, ground, and breath for a bit until I return to myself.
How can someone so far away make me feel so exhausted? What is she, some sort of vampire?
 
Well, yes.
She is a sort of vampire.
She’s a psychic or energy vampire.
 
Does this sound familiar? Feeling exhausted, irritable, antsy, or uncomfortable around someone for no immediate logical reason?
 
These are all signs your energy and well-being are being compromised.
 
There are a few types of energy vampires that present themselves in recognizable ways.

These are a few of those types:
 
Complainer / Poor me: These folks always have one drama or problem after another. This person believes the worlds is against them and are always crying “crocodile tears”. But, they always assure you that after talking to you, they always feel better!
 
What to do: Center and ground yourself. Set firm boundaries and limits. Setting limits may mean only listening for a short time then insisting they talk about solutions or simply excusing yourself from the conversation altogether.
 
Interrogator / Over talker: This person must know everything about what you are doing, cross examines you, may even look for something to judge you about. This person may also corner you at work or at a party and talk endlessly. They are only really interested in themselves and it’s exhausting.
 
What to do: These folks don’t really follow nonverbal signs indicating your discomfort. Engage, listen for a little while, and then politely excuse yourself.
 
Intimidator / Criticizer: This person makes you feel bad for not doing things “right”. Every time they come around they’re trying to find things wrong with you or what you’re doing. They often have negative comments that just cut you down. Sometimes they use manipulation and fear to control. You will almost always have a deep sense of dread and feel unsafe when they come around.
 
What to do: Try a visualization of a protective shield. Eliminate these people whenever possible.
 
Fixer-upper / Helpless: This person has soo much potential, and you can see that it’s obvious. But the fact is, they will never reach that potential. For whatever lack of motivation or some other reason, they never achieve much of anything. From financial trouble, inability to keep a job, complete projects, follow through on promises, they are helpless and unable. But, you can help them, can’t you? You always have the solution, so they come to you for help!
 
What to do: Don’t be a rescuer! Show concern but not solutions. Be supportive and try directing them to other sources where they may find the answers themselves.
 

Being able to recognize when your energy is being affected and sapped is paramount to your health and overall well-being. It is a direct indicator that something is amiss in the situation. It’s important to be aware of these things and address them appropriately. Staying in a negative relationship, friendship, or work situation often results in an undesirable impact on your physical, mental and emotional health.
 
Remember, my friends, always check in with your body to see how you feel about a person or situation! Your body will always signal the truth.
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Be sure to check out Recognizing a Parasidic Draw or Energy Vampire : Part 1

Recognizing a Parasidic Draw or Energy Vampire : Part 1

Recognizing a Parasidic Draw or Energy Vampire : Part 1 published on No Comments on Recognizing a Parasidic Draw or Energy Vampire : Part 1

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One morning, I jumped in my car and when I turned the key in the ignition, the engine turned over, but didn’t start. “Oh no…” I thought, my stomach suddenly feeling queasy.  (We all know this feeling!)
I tried again, the engine turned over a few times, didn’t start.
Then a third try, the engine finally turned over and started.
 
Throughout the next few days I watched the behavior of my car. It would have trouble starting in the morning, but in the afternoon or anytime after that initial morning start, it would start right up with no trouble at all.
 
What was happening?
 
This isn’t typical behavior of a failing starter engine or perhaps an alternator problem…
 
Finally I brought my car to the mechanic where we discovered I had what’s called a Parasitic Draw. Sounds creepy, right?

parasite
 
A Parasitic Draw is when there is an electrical component in your car that slowly drains the battery of energy. This typically isn’t noticeable when driving because the operation of the car itself is designed to charge your battery; but when the car isn’t operating, like at night when you’re home in bed, the energy drain can be noticeable enough that there isn’t enough juice in the battery to start the car the next day.
 
“Whoa!” I thought … “I’ve experienced Parasitic Draws in my personal life too!” I’ve been with people or in places when I felt exhausted or sick, only to be back to normal as soon as I got away. My energy returned and I was back to myself again.
 
And sometimes, like my car, they aren’t that easy to diagnose either …
 
A more common name to describe something or someone that is sucking up your time and energy is: a psychic vampire or energy vampire.
 
This energy drain happens on many different levels and we’ve all experienced it.
All of our relationships are governed by a give and take of energy and this affects the quality of our lives and health. It’s usually an unconscious competition for energy that underlies energy vampires.
 
Often times these vampires don’t know how they are affecting others. A bad day at the office, and injury, or hearing bad news can make anyone into a temporary energy vampire. When you are suffering, you naturally reach out for support.
 
Sometimes a person has suffered a serious trauma they haven’t healed from and are unconsciously sucking energy from others to support themselves. Where does this energy go that they keep drawing? When there’s an unaddressed trauma, there usually are leaks in the aura where energy escapes, or the energy is sent back in time surrounding the trauma itself to protect the psyche of individual who is suffering.
 
It is important to have compassion for this person, for you do not know their pain. But, also be mindful of yourself that they don’t suck your energy dry. There are ways to help without sacrificing your own well-being.
 
It’s also important to note, that there are some vampires who are much more conscious of the rush they receive from an energy draw. Some even go so far as to control, overpower or manipulate others or situations because they know it’s a quick way to boost themselves.
 
They best way to figure out if you’re on the presence of an Energy Vampire or a Parasitic situation is to:
Listen to your body.
 
Ask yourself: How do I feel in this situation or with this person?
What is your first instinct?
 
Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel aware? Are you backing away? Are you seeing red flags? Are you crossing your arms? Do you feel tired or irritable?

These are all things to be aware of – your body language and feelings will indicate what is happening. Your body will unconsciously respond to the truth regardless of what your mind is thinking. And be aware that your mind will try to dismiss these signals.
 
This intuitive listening with your body to determine energetic quality can be applied to sensing work environments and living arrangements as well as relationships and meeting new people.
 
Always ask yourself: How do I feel?

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Be sure to check out Part 2 to this post: Different types of Energy Vampires

 

 

 

Differentiation: Finding your own voice

Differentiation: Finding your own voice published on No Comments on Differentiation: Finding your own voice

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Our parents are our first and greatest teachers. They are our first introduction to the world and all of our experiences. As children, we are blank slates and have no experiences with which to compare and evaluate anything. It is natural to model ourselves after our first teachers.

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But what if your beliefs as an adult differ from that of your family? This can generate turmoil both within the self and in the family dynamic.
 
Differentiation

Differentiation relates to ones susceptibility to group pressure and influence. The less susceptible to the pressure of others, the higher an individual’s differentiation level.
 
As adults, we grow, explore and develop our own beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Sometimes this journey of self-discovery can be difficult, thinking or being different than that which we grew up with, or even believed most of our lives.
And this doesn’t just relate to the family dynamic, but our immediate culture and environment. It could be political, cultural expectations, or religious communities with which you realize just don’t fit any longer.
 
How does one differentiate, essentially discovering and holding onto your own core beliefs and values?
 
Here are a few tips:
 
Explore and question the actions of others and the world around you. Develop an inner dialogue: Does this serve me? Does this make me happy or stress me out? Is this appropriate? Reflect on your feelings and initial responses.
 
Encourage yourself, developing self-esteem for holding your own. Center and ground yourself whenever you make a choice contrary and possibly disappointing to someone in your life.
 
Find others to support you. This could be friends, family members, a coach, teammate or a therapist.
 
Develop and articulate your values and boundaries. If you’re clear about what is important to you, you’ll be able to call upon and reinforce it when pressured.
 
Notice when you feel uncomfortable or resentful. Discomfort or resentment can be a sign that trying to fit in with someone’s agenda, neglecting your own values.
 
Remember, everyone is on a path of development and growth until our very last day on earth. We are all doing the best that we can at this time, even you.
 
Especially because Mother’s Day is nearly here, lets take time to reflect on and appreciate all that our mothers have done for us; and also appreciate our family, how they influenced and helped us grow into becoming ourselves, differentiated in our own individual potential.

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