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Taking Responsibility – You can change your circumstances!

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One of the most important principles of personal development is that you take 100% responsibility for your life.

It’s important to understand what responsibility is, especially in relation to blame.
What does it mean to take responsibility for your life?
noun:  re·spon·si·bil·i·ty \ri-ˌspän(t)-sə-ˈbi-lə-tē\
the state of being the person who caused something to happen
It’s essential to understand that you are the common denominator in your life. You are present at EVERY interaction, activity, decision, event, and experience that happens to you! You are the one, and the only one, that determines how you are going to respond or react to everything in your life.
With this knowledge, YOU must realize you are completely responsible for all of your successes and failures and of your happiness or unhappiness.
This is different from being at fault or to blame for something. Some events are things you may not want at all, yet they still happen. Car accidents, assaults, and burglaries are not things we want; yet they happen. Casting blame or fault comes as a form of chastisement, whether belittling oneself or belittling another. Ultimately, it’s how you respond to the situation, undesirable or not, that determines the final outcome.

For example, if one finds themselves mugged and beaten-up one night, they have choices which may be:

  • Be fearful for the rest of ones life and not go out at night anymore,
  • Take responsibility and enroll in self-defense courses, empower themselves and rebuild their self-esteem,
  • Or do nothing and blame others, the police, themselves for not preventing it. 

Blame and responsibility are on opposite sides of the spectrum. One brings on depression, and the other raises self-esteem and facilitates healing.
Blame is a negative, depressive state, which halts growth.

Responsibility is a proactive, positive state and allows active change.
If you don’t understand the concept and practice of responsibility, you will feel stuck in your life and you will fall into a victim mentality.
The negativity of excuse making will prevent you from succeeding. If you find yourself in your current position, personal or professional, claiming your problems are someone or something else’s fault, then you really need to take a hard look your life. No matter the situation, there is always a solution you can apply.
How to take responsibility of your life:

  1. Be willing to see your situation differently
  2. Make no more excuses and no more blame
  3. Listen to your thoughts – thoughts turn into actions
  4. Look for solutions and be proactive about them


What do you do when you’ve done something wrong or said something hurtful?
When you take responsibility and acknowledge that you’ve done something wrong you move into a positive proactive state. It can feel uncomfortable, but this discomfort is temporary because you are taking measures to correct what you’ve done. You are in a state of humility and openness.
How to take responsibility when you’ve done something wrong:

  1. Take ownership of your behavior and admit your misconduct.
  2. Apologize for it, and be sincere!
  3. Correct what you’ve done. Do your best to fix it and make amends.
  4. Don’t do it again.

Being honest and showing humility when you’ve been hurtful will improve your relationships dramatically; but you must be sincere and committed to improving yourself so you do not repeat the hurtful behavior again.
Taking responsibility for your actions is the key to being a genuine person.


Listening to your Inner Voice

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The other day I attended an unusually hot Bikram yoga class. Somewhere in the middle I needed to lie down, as my heart felt like it would burst. While lying there, staring up at the ceiling, I suddenly had a voice inside me speaking words told to me long ago by my High School art teacher:

“An artist always knows when a painting is complete”


After hearing this, I felt something, like a deep knowing, then it shifted to a physical sensation that washed inside me and I realized what this meant. These words don’t necessarily apply to just creating art, but to life. It’s important to recognize when something is over it’s just over. If you keep putting time and energy into it, it’s wasted effort or you may ruin it, just like an overworked painting.

This is a powerful intuition indicating completion.

This is also a lesson on intuition, how it speaks to you, and interpreting it.

So how does your intuition speak to you?

Sometimes, it can be a small voice inside you; it can be flashes of visual images, a feeling in your stomach or even knowingness in your heart. The one consistency is a lack of visceral emotions when the intuition hits. It’s just a message delivered… then after the message is delivered, the emotional response happens.


It works like this because the way you process information:
1) Message
2) Mind receives message and thinks about it
3) Emotions follow thoughts

Sometimes you receive the message and process it so fast, you go right to the emotions. (i.e.: As soon as I walked in, I instantly felt sick and tired.)

The easiest way to tell the difference if a message is a thought, or an intuition is your emotional response.

Thought – if you had very intense emotions at the same time as the message
Thought – very negative feelings and obsessing over message
Intuition – when the message came you didn’t have any emotions
(Maybe exception of compassion)
Intuition – after receiving the message, even if bad news, you felt a sense of relief or as thought you already knew the answer already.

Where does this message, this information come from?


Sometimes that inner voice is you, these are your thoughts which are influenced by your past experiences. Other times it is your Higher Self, also known as intuition, which is actually your Soul; your Soul is directly plugged into God the Divine and touches the entire Universe.

This is how every question you have is always answered. And it is ALWAYS answered and usually as soon as you ask! But, why you don’t think you have an answer is because the answer you received isn’t want you want to hear, so you dismiss it and claim you don’t know what to do.

Perhaps the biggest step in working with intuition is trusting it. When you know that you’ve receive the truth and it feels like the correct course of action in every aspect, it’s important to trust it and follow through.

And if it means something is over, which is often difficult to accept, take comfort knowing that now there is room for something new to begin…




Subtle Energy of Crystals & Minerals

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We know it’s the unique crystalline structure of a stone that causes it to give off a particular frequency. Certain crystals and minerals vibrate in a way that resonate with and strengthen particular energies inside a person. This is why they are applied to help heal, cause shifts in attitude, shifts in thinking, and enhance the ability to attract desired elements into one’s life.
When working with stones and crystals you are working with your subtle energies.



These energies reveal themselves and shift in quieter ways than other physical types of energies. Thus for example, if you carry a crystal or stone as an amulet or in your pocket, you’ll notice its effects over time, rather than immediate.



So, when choosing crystals or stones to use or work with, it’s imperative to take your time and sense how they resonate with your own subtle energies. If having a bit of difficulty determining if a particular stone is good to use at this time, self -applied kinesiology or using a pendulum will help.

Individual stones give off a type of energy vibration very specific to that particular stone. Quartz crystals are unique in that they operate in a much broader way that amplifies all the subtle energy frequencies with which they come into contact. Simply put, a quartz crystal will amplify and intensify the energy you put into it by resonating with it and making it stronger. If you are feeling positive and loving, it will help amplify that sensation. Coupling quartz crystals with other stones and crystals will also amplify their effect.


big-mixbag2By using crystals and stones, you can concentrate your growth by working with one stone and one element about yourself, or several items at a time by using several stones.




I recommend patience, as working with these energies will bring to the surface what is happening inside you, and show what you need to work on in order to be a better, happier person.

Remember, it is you who must do the work. When something comes to the surface of your consciousness, you must address it.

More on Crystals and Minerals for healing:
The Nature of Crystals and how they are able to do what they do!

Choosing Crystals for Healing

Mindfulness, Empathy, and Emotional Intelligence

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I’m sure you’ve heard of Mindfulness. But, what is it? There are many things one can ascertain from the word itself, but what it’s really described as is: Focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging one’s feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations. Mindfulness recently is being employed as a therapeutic technique.

It is simply stopping, taking stock of your feelings and physical sensations in relation to the situation you’re currently facing.

Seems logical to be aware of your feelings, but actually, it isn’t always that easy; especially when your feelings are confusing or painful.

What can one do to better be aware of themselves and emotions? Your thoughts, actions and emotions are tied closely together. Thoughts create emotions, which create actions. Having this awareness will dramatically affect your life in very positive ways.

Empathy is built through an understanding of oneself and processes. This necessitates deliberate self-reflection and self-work. The more you understand your own thoughts, feelings and emotions the more you can understand the perspective, thoughts and emotions of others.
I’m referring a bit more towards cognitive empathy in this regard, yet emotional empathy definitely plays a role. Emotional empathy makes someone well attuned to another person’s inner emotional world, to the point that they themselves are also experiencing another’s emotions as thought it were their own. Self-work is also essential so that one can differentiate ones emotional state from another.

The awareness of one’s emotions, and the understanding of them culminate into something known as Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence an individual’s abilities to recognize and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.

This also includes: being conscientious and controlling your actions (not acting rashly); taking personal responsibility for your own behavior. Also, being adaptable to different situations, good communication skills and empathy- to understand yourself and another person’s emotional reaction.

Mindfulness: Being aware of one’s emotions in the present moment

Empathy: The ability to understand one’s emotions

Emotional Intelligence: Ability to recognize and manage ones emotions

Ultimately, we’re striving for a high level of emotional maturity through these practices, to be able to peaceably and appropriately manage situations and feelings as they arise and live happier, more productive lives.


Honoring Your Empathic Nature

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I would venture to guess, that many of you hesitate at the prospect of going where there are large crowds. Maybe this is because events like parties, concerts, or even a short trip to the mall leaves you feeling weary and disoriented? Or perhaps you have that friend, (you know which one) whom leaves you exhausted with just a phone conversation?

I feel your pain… literally.

These are symptoms of being empathic. Empathy is your ability to feel, in your body, another’s experience. The experience may be physical, emotional, energetic, painful, or joyful. You may or may not receive any external reason why you’re feeling this, but you feel it anyway.
Being empathic is an asset, but it unusually makes you vulnerable to the emotions of others; taking them on much the same way that you’d catch a cold. Being this sensitive can result in anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and physical pain syndromes more often than those who are less empathic.

Empathic Checklist:

  • When you are around certain people or in crowds, do you feel drained?
  • Have you ever had an instant liking or disliking to someone?
  • Have you ever sensed how someone was feeling in spite of how they were acting or claiming?
  • Do you have trouble with boundaries? Sometimes it’s difficult to know which experiences are yours and which come from others; or when it’s appropriate to open yourself for connection or to close up.
  • Do you often need time alone to recharge and balance yourself?

Even when we’re aware of them, these patterns are hard to change. But, the most important step is being aware of these sensations; then you can sort out what they are, and how to manage them. To be a healthy empath requires daily practice.

Check back for follow-up articles. I plan on expanding greatly on the topic of Empathic Abilities.

Accepting Love

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Lent is known as time of spiritual purification and solemnity.

Typically, it’s marked by giving something up, to discipline and provide control over oneself to purify the heart and renew ones life. In recent years, I’ve forgone giving up simple physical pleasures such as chocolate or liquor, and chosen to give up deliberately intense things such as: Fear. Deliberately seeking the things that frighten me (within reason) and doing them. The result: Fear, anxiety, rejection no longer control me. I am free.

This year, I have chosen to actively accept Love in all forms. It is surprising and sometimes disconcerting facing my inner dialogue regarding Love. But, as I found when I faced Fear, I became more Fearless; when accepting Love, I’ve become more Loving. There is absolutely something to the law of attraction when it is truly taken to heart, as opposed to merely employed as a mental construct. Allowing love, and receiving love, I was surprised by these lovely roses delivered to my door.


So, my Friends, I urge all of you to look deeply into your hearts at the things you may be resisting, and go there. Maybe a little discipline and a inner reflection is all that is needed for profound and uplifting change in your life.

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